Bumbling lies

Last week one of friend get excited about a Bumble match. His profile said he was well-educated and looking for a life partner. They planned a date, and she was genuinely hopeful of finding one. Then, just half an hour before meeting, he texted: “What are you looking for?” She replied honestly: “A long-term relationship.” His answer? “I’m looking for sex.” She declined and refused to meet him.

This isn’t just a mismatch — it’s a breakdown in transparency and trust. Often, people exaggerate or misrepresent themselves on dating apps to “hook” someone in, claiming they want a serious relationship when they don’t, believing it will increase their chances of a date — and, in some cases, of free sex.. When intentions don’t match reality, it leads to disappointment, wasted time, and emotional frustration for both parties.

Research indicates that misrepresentation in online dating profiles is common and often driven by psychological and social factors, such as:

• Desire to Appear More Attractive

• Conformity to Perceived Expectations

• Influence of Online Disinhibition

Practical Ways to Navigate Online Dating

1. Be Honest in Your Profile: Clearly state your intentions — serious, casual, or somewhere in between. Include truthful details about your lifestyle, values, and interests.

2. Communicate Early: Ask potential matches about their relationship goals and share yours. Early transparency saves time and emotional energy.

3. Look for Consistency: Pay attention to whether someone’s words match their actions. Inconsistencies often signal misrepresentation.

4. Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, take note. Hesitation, evasiveness, or sudden changes in behaviour are warning signs.

5. Set and Respect Boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries and honour those of others. Mutual respect is foundational to healthy connections.

   
   

Online dating can be messy, but you never know — the right match may be just around the corner. Happy dating!